I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
