I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
