Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
