3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
