i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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