FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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