hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
