You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
