oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
