There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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