How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
