he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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