just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
