i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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