Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
