I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
