PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
