winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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