At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
