And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
