Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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