You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
