I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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