what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
