It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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