youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
