I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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