on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am available for nakedness
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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