I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
