Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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