can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
