The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
