he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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