Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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