Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
