How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
