Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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