what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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