I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
