it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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