Your face is a jimmy john
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
