oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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