I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so explain again why im purple
no
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
