I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
