the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
