I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
