Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
