I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize