i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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