My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
