In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
