They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
