Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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