I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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