so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
