So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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