good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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