i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize