It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
