I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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