i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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