Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize