I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
