she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
