She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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