Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
