You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
