Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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