first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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