So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
