i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize