sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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