You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
