Porn is love you can see.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
