the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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