Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
