dude i'm inner monologue high
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
