Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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