she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
