in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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